Monday, 17 January 2011

because basketball is a good metaphor for everything.

you know like in a game of basketball, 
when you're down by 20 points 
and suddenly you make a run in the last 2 minutes and scored 19 straight,
putting the lead down to a single possession with 10 secs left at game clock
then the opponent hits a three to push the lead back up and only a single second to go.

cold-blooded three-pointer. 

you know, that feeling when you see that ball trickle in the basket;
cold sweat, hard thumping in the chest.
you lose confidence, you lose faith.
your mind gets disoriented. 

And in less than a second, you tell yourself all the good things to compose yourself back;
“you did your best.”
“it was a hard fought game.”
“all heart. True fighter.”


You get the ball, throw a prayer
and the ball goes in.
And you’re still down a point, the buzzer sounds.
Game is over.

And again, you tell yourself all the good things to compose yourself back.
“you did even more than the best.”
“you fought hard ‘til the end.”
“you had THE never-say-die attitude.”

It was a good game.
Say, you scored 29 pts,
Dished out 24 assts,
Grabbed 13 rebs, 7 steals, 2 blks.
Only 3 turnovers.

It was a good game.

People come to you saying all these good stuff;
“You were a monster out there.”
“such a fighter.”
“you did the best you could.”
“you have a heart of a true champion.”

Bullshit.

you’re an athlete.
A loss is a loss.
What you did was not enough.
A loss is always a loss.

A loss is always a loss and a loss is always hard to swallow.
You’re a competitor.
You know how to fall hard.
You know how to stand-up.

Today, the game’s not yours.
You walk out with your head down.

But the moment this day ends,
You know you’ve got to rise back up.
Step-back up.
With head high up with pride.

On to the next ball-game.
it was cold-blooded.
no question asked, no advise, none.
at a swing of fate,
she was gone.

she didn't leave any marks behind.
no word, no apologies.
it was as if she didn't exist.
as if I did not exist.

as if she did not ask me to stay.

Thursday, 6 January 2011

Law of Attraction

It’s the start of a new decade. Looking forward to this one. Maybe it’s best to list things I want to do or I would want to achive!

  1. I want to watch World Cup LIVE either in Brazil or in Russia. It would be great if I’d be able to watch and support the azkals but I think that’s for the next decade. Hopefully in Qatar.
  2. After this decade I’d be 33. (what?? 33!!) It would be great to have settled down by then, and having a family with kids and all.
  3. I also want to believe that I’d be successful by then. Whether it’s in the law profession, corporate world or media. Or even politics. The task for the next 3-4 years is to find the path I want to follow.
  4. Watching a Live NBA game would be nice too. Or a Pacquiao-Mayweather fight even if they end up fighting when they’re 40 already.
  5. Thinking ahead, it would be nice that by that time, I’ve already travelled half the world. Starting from the local islands of the country, out to Southeast Asia, then Asia then Europe!
  6. I’m looking forward to a reunion with HS classmates (probably in 2016) and College friends (2019) and see how much we’ve grown after 10 years. And it would be nice if I’d be able to share quite an adventure.
  7. Writing a book would be nice too. Collection of poems or short stories. Or even making my own independent filmAnother goal is to read more and more books.
  8.  Actually, I love documentaries. And in this decade, I wish I’d be able to make one documentary that would touch people’s lives.
  9. To add to my knowledge. To make me a bit more interesting person. Self-development, I guess. or nerd-vanity Haha!
  10.  and, A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD.



Wednesday, 5 January 2011

starting anew.

I haven't really thought of the specific things i'd like to achieve this year. Last year was just crazy and just to survive it, i feel really blessed. i've got a feeling this year would be much better. 
i had a talk with Jan a few months back. we talked about finding my "thing". the "thing" being that something that i would wake up everyday to and be inspired to do and be a master of. i've done quite a lot the past 15 years of my life-- played in a varsity basketball team, wrote scripts and joined theater, be in a band, join politics-- but none of it were focused on. so this year, i'll try to find that one thing i really want to get my life on. it's never too late, i guess. 
i want to start by writing on my blog again. so i can keep track of myself. 

2010 was a crazy year. but ive got a lot to be thankful for. for one, it was the same year i first went outside the country to London! Here's one of my best pictures with a crappy camera i brought. haha! 



happy new year  everybody! i wish you all well!