well, see you on Monday. I hope you have fun tonight. 

hindi ko na hahangaring makasama kang muli,
hindi ko kayang makita kang may dinaramang sakit.
habang ako'y nabibighani,
sa mga mata mong sawi.

Nakahihinayang lamang isipin.
Kung nabigyan tayo ng panahon
na magkakilala nang walang
dinadalang lungkot
sa tingin ko ay magiging masaya tayo.

hindi siguro ngayon,
marahil hindi na mangyari.
pero kung nagkataon,
ipinapangako ko,
hindi ka na luluha pang muli.

tomorrow

It's during these nights when I miss you the most.

When the cold air kisses the veins in my body,

Especially the ones connected to the heart,

I long for connecting yours through the empty spaces

between my fingers.

When the majestic moon shines early,

illuminating all 4 corners of the room,

And I see your shadow in one;

in my side, my corner. 

When in the silence of the night,

I hear you whisper-- though not my name,

And it reaches me and I reply,

with screaming thoughts of how it used to be.

When the clear skies show multitude of stars,

And I wait for even just a single one to fall,

then maybe I can make a wish- however futile

for you to fall back for me too.

It's during these nights when I miss you the most.

The same nights that make me look forward to sunrise.

the other night you told me how your heart was breaking. how you cant let go of he who caused it. a little piece of my heart broke. i remembered, giving anything and everything just so you won't be hurt. even if it was hard, even if i was hurting. but maybe that's what i did wrong. i loved too much. i gave too much. and maybe you did not like that. yeah, that probably what happened.

but as your heart was breaking, a little piece of mine cracks like a horcrux of yours living inside mine.

i never broke your heart. it never broke when we were together. and maybe that is why i was easier to let go.

now i know--

you never loved me as much as you could have done so.. as much as you love him now.

Dreams

Dreams give you this schizophrenic feeling when you wake up. the wildest dreams leave you blank when you wake up in the morning. you actually do not know what to make of it. when you dream of something exciting, you wish you hadn't left that dream land far too soon. but when dreams act like what they really are-- the tip of your iceberg of a mind-- it strikes you like a lightning on a rainy day. it's veracity pushing back up what you've been keeping to yourself, what you've buried under the inner most part of your soul. sucks like that, really. because you can't necessarily control what you dream of. they just surprise you like that. what to make of it-- i've yet to realize. 


if you thought you needed me, why leave in the first place?

Has it really been a year already?

I must admit, I don’t remember vividly how it happened. I don’t remember how it all ended. What I do remember, though, was why it happened. What I know now is why it had to happen. Like I said in a previous post, in Ted Mosby’s words, “Sometimes, things fall apart to make way for better things”. True story.. I may not know what it is yet, but I know it would be something better. No one knows the future, but the limitless possibilities that it presents to us is quite exciting. It would be scary, yes, but we really do not have a choice but to face it, right?

A year ago, I was broken; devastated and melancholic. But I know one thing that I never told anyone until today—that during that night, I saw it coming. I knew it would happen. I knew it had to and I was just scared to face it. It wasn’t easy, but it’s something I had to go through. Because relationships that are broken means building new and stronger ones. And I can say that I emerged better—having a better relationship with my God and my family. 3 things that I know helped me—my faith, my family and the friends that I truly have. Besides, how can you be sad when you know you’re coming home to a cute little boy like this young lad—

Well, that was that. Moving on is a strange feeling just because you’re not used to it. Changes happen and life moves on. Plus, sometimes, you just have to take notes from this man:

ps. to whoever you are who's gonna take the place beside her, i hope you do better than what i can do best. she deserves nothing less. kthxbye. ;)

I'm an avid fan of Postsecret ever since I was in HS. There is something about reading other people's secrets that make you feel.. less alone. Whether you can directly relate to one's secret or not, it gives you an understanding that whatever you are going through, other people goes through the same-- or sometimes worse. I remember giving a copy of one of the books to someone for her birthday. It seem rather strange to give a book compiled of strangers' secrets for a birthday present isn't it? But I'd want to inspire her that time. I wanted to let that person know that whatever she was going to go through, people have gone through worse; kind of weird to take comfort from other people's misery? Maybe a bit, but only can one see what others do not have and what one has can one appreciate how blessed he/she is, right? Postsecret is compilation of secrets that include the most (seemingly) absurd to the simplest thing but i think it shows us one important thing-- that we are given life and we should always give importance to it, no matter what. 

PS.

I think i found the perfect postsecret to tell that certain person:

who knows, maybe i did send it, right?